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Looking for Support 
By One Devotee
(name withheld by request of author)

Greetings Prabhus!

Please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

I have been in the movement for just over a year and a half and am aspiring to take initiation from an ISKCON Guru. But I have a secret that I am not sure how I should handle. I am a recovering heroin addict and am currently on methadone. I am gradually going down in my dose and hope to be off of everything within a few short months. I feel really alone in this, as I do not know of any other devotees who are either recovering heroin addicts or in recovery in general.

I am really glad that I have finally found Krsna, because for the first time in my life I have an idea of who I am and why I am here, and especially why I have been so frustrated all these years trying to gratify my senses with drugs. To me, my becoming Krsna Conscious and taking shelter of a Guru is a black and white decision. I do, I live; I don't, I die. That is how I look at it. I know what it is to be fried and to suffer. So it has been a Godsend quite literally that I have found association with devotees. I can see my drug use as a symptom of my trying to enjoy, instead of allowing myself to be the enjoyed. I have been trying to serve my senses, as well as the dope man instead of serving Krsna.

I am hoping this letter will help me find some, or even just one other, devotee(s) that can share with me their experience with becoming a devotee and getting off drugs...especially heroin and/or methadone. I am also in a dilemma as to how far I should practice my discretion regarding my past with the Spiritual Master I am aspiring for and with regard to other devotees.

I can be reached at: 1devotee@harekrishnatemple.com 

I wish everyone who has gone through the pain and suffering I have endured and survived could find the mercy and love that I have found in the Krsna Consciousness movement.

Hare Krsna!

One Devotee.

© CHAKRA 9 October 2001

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